The weather is changing, your nose has started running and you ache, welcome man-flu. This very serious illness debilitates thousands of men every year, some not knowing whether the end is nigh…
Having been a victim of this illness a few times, I know how hard it is to carry on with little or no sympathy from colleagues or loved ones.
Things to look for
Some signs you may be experiencing man-flu are:
- Thinking you’re going to die
- Feeling that you’ve ‘never felt this ill’ before
- No one understands how ill you feel
- Zero sympathy from wives or girlfriends
- You’ve locked yourself in a darkened room and started to watch box sets
- You seek contact and affection from your partner– don’t worry you’re vulnerable, this is common behaviour
All is not lost
There is light at the end of the tunnel, and for those of you that can drag yourself out of bed here are a few tips to get you back on the road to recovery faster than you think.
Listen to your body
If you feel tired, sleep. If you feel hungry, eat. It’s that simple.
Some will feel like sleeping the day away in your man cave with no appetite, that’s fine. Just make sure to keep yourself hydrated with water.
If you’re feeling hungry then you can make yourself homemade chicken soup, the proper stuff from a carcass not a tin of Campbell’s! Eat plenty of green vegetables and general healthy stuff. Stay away from the kebabs.
Training wise, dependent on the severity of the man-flu, a little training may be beneficial to blow the cobwebs out. You don’t need to set any PR’s but go in and have a thirty-minute sweat. Obviously if this feels like the last thing you want to do then rest and recuperate in the man cave, there’s always tomorrow.
You are not alone
As Michael Jackson once sang ‘You are not alone’, there will certainly be others out there experiencing the same symptoms. Reach out and look for a support group.
Strength in numbers is the name of the game. Look for male companionship, women won’t understand.
And the essentials to dealing with a case of man-flu:
A Woman’s Guide to Surviving Man-Flu
The weather is changing, your nose has started running and you ache.
As usual, you’ll just get on with it and continue to run the home, cook and look after the kids and manage your full-time job.
But beware! You may also be expected to become the primary carer for your husband or boyfriend’s life-threatening illness known as man-flu!
The first rule of thumb is don’t panic. There will be plenty of warning signs at the onset of man-flu, and picking up on them will give you time to prepare:
- Grumpy – even more so than usual. The patient generally becomes stand-offish and unfriendly.
- He may play the victim role at being struck down by this terrible affliction. He probably has the most severe case of the common cold anyone has ever had to endure. Do not refer to the words “man-flu” at this stage. This could send him overboard and increase the severity of his symptoms.
- Increased inquisitivity. The patient asks lots of highly intellectual questions about how to overcome his chronic condition. What medication should he be taking? Should he go to the gym and sweat it out?
- Unexpected affection. Make the most of this sudden desire for cuddles. It comes with no expectations of anything more. You can just enjoy the attention.
- Loss of ability to do anything except complain.
Ladies, here are some tips and preventative measures you can take to try to reduce the intensity of the victim’s suffering – and for your own good – attempt to maintain that image of the strong invincible gladiator that once captured your heart.
- Remember that there is no cure for man-flu. You should approach the victim with caution and remember that big – albeit insincere – doses of sympathy go a long way.
- Chicken soup. From a tin (he won’t have a clue you didn’t make it from scratch).
- Stroke his hair to encourage more of the unexpected affectionate behaviour in the future.
- The trickiest step is to convince him that he shouldn’t to go and play golf in the wind, rain or hail. No matter how much he protests. Remind him that if he’s too sick for the gym then he is almost certainly too sick for the golf course.
- Give him compete control of the Sky remote, a blanket and plenty of vitamin C, Echinacea, water and pander to his every whim. It can actually be quite endearing to see that glimpse of vulnerability in our otherwise brave and hard-working action men. Give him a break; we all deserve a little extra TLC sometimes.